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#61 - COOPS WEEKLY - Life from Home Confinement

Updated: Jan 5

Wearing the ankle monitor is a trip.  Nobody really notices it unless they stare (but people do notice it occasionally)…. one of my favorite things to do is make up some wacky story to tell people when they do notice.  

Yesterday I was walking out of the gym and my ear bud dropped out.  I bent over to pick it up and this lady was waking by and she remarked “oh wow, I have never seen one of those, did you get in trouble son?”  Now based on her response I thought she could handle a light joke in response.  I told her (paraphrasing) “my parents had grounded me (& made me wear this) back when I was in high school and I have never taken it off.”  She was stunned/horrified….seeing her reaction & feeling terrible bc my Mom somehow knows everyone in Sacramento & if this gets back to her I’m a dead man….I quickly told her I was kidding (I have wonderful parents, which most of you know).  She eventually laughed & told me “you should always listen to your parents,” so I’m not entirely sure she knew I was kidding but it had a happy ending.

My attitude with this stuff …. And this experience…. Is somehow…someway….you have to have fun with it.  Being embarrassed is part of it.  Ha….we missed saving ourselves from that embarrassment opportunity by going to jail.  

I have had some Hilarious responses to my ankle monitor accessory….I had a guy I was bantering with come up to me and tell me “we aren’t gonna need you as the getaway driver for the job tom nite…..clearly you have a propensity to get caught.”  I had an ex felon offer to help me “cut it off,” (not sure if he meant the monitor or my foot).  I even had a funny exchange with a married couple where I told them “my wife made me wear this.” (Im not even married).  The husband was great he asked where he could get one for his wife….I told him they were available at “Sharper Image,”.  It was epic his wife fired back “I’m getting my husband one,” & started trying to look it up on her phone.  We were dying….I ended up explaining my situation (we sat down on chairs in front of my PT office).  After telling her the 5 min version of my crime she understood getting the monitor was bit more complicated and you probably would need to go to jail to get one. 

Guy Robs Bank wearing an ankle monitor (see you tube vid) -


Through the elaborate underground message network (Corrlinks) we got the following update from the 


“We are on a pause, riot in the big house so we are making meals for them. lol”.   

 (Never a boring day) 



(We will have one more class after this that has core friends in class...Decker & GIllum). Then the Leavenworth RDAP alumni class will be set.  

But a few of the guys graduating that are brothers are as follows:

  • Kennedy,

  • Hinton,

  • Tucker,

  • Finley,

  • Salamah,

  • Newling

Craziest things I have heard/seen on home confinement 

There are actually quite a few prison/felon stories on Netflix.  I CANNOT BELIEVED I missed this one.

This chilling documentary is called “long shot,”.  It’s about a father named Juan (whose brother is in a LA gang).  A witness who is testifying against the gang gets brutally murdered.  Juan (who is the brother NOT in a gang) gets charged with this murder.  From day one the prosecutor is dead set that Juan is the killer based on a composite sketch (from a reliable witness drawn by a sketch artist).  The only time the prosecution can place Juan and the victim is at the actual trial against his brothers gang (when Juan is there with all the other families of the gang in support).  So armed with really only a sketch that appears to look like Juan.  The prosecution presses forward…he is arrested, no bail….so he’s in county jail. 

Did Juan have an alibi?  YES!!!!!  Juan was at the Dodger game with his daughter.   He then was with his wife & mother after.  The prosecutor (who is a real peach) won’t listen to any of it.  The prosecution feels this is a lie and that his family is covering for him.  

Here he the part that goes somewhat unexplained. Somehow Juan secures the services of a dynamite attorney (another brother of Juan worked for him years ago).  But Juan couldn’t afford bail so how he fit the bill for this attorney is a fair question?  The attorney gets to work trying to prove he was at the game.   Juan didn’t have any receipts or pics from the game (and the prosecution insists there would have to be some proof).  He did buy food & drinks but he paid cash.  The family is dumbfounded the prosecution won’t even consider his innocence.

During a conversation with his attorney Juan mentions that a film crew was there filming next to his seats.  The attorney thinks what are the chances of figuring out who that was????  The attorney (who again is connectted) calls the Dodger head of PR (a person that would not be easy to reach).  But it’s quite smart, the dodgers would have to ok’d any TV show to film (and the dodgers are notoriously tough on this issue).  The dodger PR immediately remembers the show after all its one of the most well known shows on television’s.  “CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM.” with Larry David.  The episode is famous because it involved Larry hiring a prostitute to go to the dodger game…. Traffic is notoriously bad in LA…& the car pool lane into the heart of LA is a lifesaver.  However you need 2 people to ride carpool.  So Larry hired a prostitute to go to the game with him.   

Most of the episode is Larry getting the idea (to hire a prostitute) & finding the women to hire (he ends up hiring this rather large black women….which if of you have seen his show is part of the humor to pair him with the unlikeliest people) The game portion is very short.  But you have Larry & this women watching the game arguing.  

So with the help of the dodgers (which is probably the only thing the dodgers have ever done that is good) they track down the producers of the show.  The dodgers are very particular about film crews blocking a fans experience so the footage is a smattering of different shots from all over the field capturing David & the women from a distance. People (fans) were being respectful and waiting for them to finish shooting so there are very few people walking by the camera.  

They poured over the footage but they were discouraged because there was very few shots of the entire section (where Juan & his daughter were also).  On one of the last shots where David/women start to leave the game early (a true dodger fan tradition).  They are literally walking up the Dm stairs…..You see Juan & his daughter WALK RIGHT BY then….It’s incredible…’s insane luck.  

The entire production team took on this project to try and find Juan on tape proving he was at the game (including Larry David)….something about helping prove someone innocent is rallying cry.  When they found him everyone was beyond excited ….they rushed this evidence to to the prosecutor….who did what?   Guess?  

She concluded it was irrelevant, somehow Juan still could have time to have gotten back & murdered this women (which is hilarious since she is discounting LA TRAFFIC that everyone knows about, especially when leaving a game….it’s horrendous).  The defense was beside themselves.  The prosecution believed Juan’s attendance at the game was a lie…they proved it wasn’t.

Now this crime was in 2003 where cell phones were prevalent but the technology was nowhere near what it is now.  The dagger for the prosecution was something Juan didn’t even consider because we didn’t really pinpoint cell phone locations at that time.  He made a call home to his family to say he was inn his way home.  The defense was able to establish that this call came from rt outside dodger stadium at the time of the murder.  

The prosecution still wanted to proceed (but directions from her superiors forced her to drop the charges). Although Juan remained in jail.  A short time later the ACTUAL gang members (who were on trial) who the women was testifying against plead guilty to the murder.  

Juan was released.  When Larry David is interviewed on the subject he often answers he set a man free.  It’s actually something David & his entire team are incredibly proud of.  

There was very little media attention on this situation for some reason. But when Juan was released there were repeaters there.  He was asked what was the one thing he wanted to get now that he was free (something every inmate has thought about).  His answer was …. “A Coke,”.   County jail at that time only had water from the sinks.  

Am I objective about this stuff?…clearly not.  But now, I have friends who have their own stories that simply defy basic logic….we don’t hear about it because nobody cares (none of us did until someone we cared about got incarcerated…..but with numbers continuing to grow and more people going to jail these stories will start become more common)

Long Shot highlights the problems of an overeager police/prosecutors….a system that’s willing to give up once it finds “someone that might have committed the crime,”…..and the dangers of ignoring one of the most basic tenets of the American justice system — a suspect is innocent until proven guilty.   

So interesting note.  I have worn the gray shirts (part of the Leavenworth uniform) everyday since I have been home.  Sure I have taken them off and worn other clothes….but at some point I have worn those shirts.  I’m not getting fully out of character until this thing is over.  

But it is bit of a sad day I’m parting with my fav prison shoes.  These adidas slips ons were fantastically terrible.  (See pic)

Also I managed to take a bunch of Rdap hats home.  Hats are gold in prison.  They never had the plain brown ones in stock so we all wanted the RDAP hats.  People would try to wear them who weren’t in RDAP & the staff would take them from them.  Ha. 

I was remarking to some friends I expected to be able to see more people on home confinement….but it’s still super tough.  So I’m looking to mid Jan when hopefully I can start to take Some trips. 

I know some of my favorite people are getting out soon....Let me just say this....You are still in BOP custody...Minimize your expectations accordingly.

Miss everyone 

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